Shooting Myself In The Foot: When Good Policy Complicates My Life

This may come as a shock to you, but I have principles. And opinions. Sometimes I’m pretty loud and/or venomous about expressing them. I’ve gotten into more than one shouting match, and tried to silence someone with my mind upon several occasions. On Sunday, though, I had a somewhat novel experience. I was rather inconvenienced … Continue reading

Nesting

I know what I’m doing. When I drift through the housewares section of the department store (or more likely the discount shop, let’s be honest) gazing wistfully at brightly coloured dishes, elegant serving trays, and the assorted lovely sundries of entertaining and homemaking. When I go into the local equivalent of the dollar store and … Continue reading

To Muzak

I love the canned music the restaurant next door to work plays. While I’m barreling down the four flights of stairs, desperate for a coffee not for the caffeine but for the five minutes of peace each all too short break gets me, its somehow soothing to hear “nobody said it was easy” floating in … Continue reading

Why Owning A Smartphone Doesn’t Make Me Stupid

Lately, I’ve been getting a lot of flak about my smartphone, or as it’s sometimes called, my umbilical cord to the internet. A common joke (made at my expense by someone without a smartphone) is “My phone may be stupid, but at least I’m not!” There are lots of reasons why I wanted a smartphone. … Continue reading

Might As Well

You know how every so often, when you’re wandering about the city, you run into the person who’s missing a marble or two, singing or dancing to music that nobody else can hear? It may come as a surprise, but lately I’ve been that person. Wandering around town with my MP3 player and whatever my … Continue reading

What Does That Sweaty Lady Think She’s Doing?

If you know me in real life, in person, I should warn you that this post may horrify, stupefy, or terrify you. As such, I demand that you agree to wait until the very, very end of this post to stop the presses, hold the phones, alert the media, or call in whatever form of … Continue reading

As Brave As You Have To Be, or: I Hate Bugs!

The first cockroach I ever saw in real life, I killed with an expertly aimed slipper, fired from halfway across the room, while the eight five-year-olds in the room were distracted. When they asked me what kind of bug it was, I responded with entirely faked nonchalance and a shrug disguising a shudder “I don’t … Continue reading

The Mouths of Babes: Things Kids Say #2

“Teacher, you’re going to turn into a watermelon.” Apparently I drink too much water to be healthy, and my five-year-olds are convinced that they can see my skin turning green and black striped. Panicked, they asked me who would be their teacher if I turned into a watermelon, so I assigned the task to them. … Continue reading