Mommy Made Dress Girl

My mother made me a pair of pants last year. I picked out the fabric, even sewed the elastic for the waistband drawstring. They’re comfortable and gorgeous, one of a kind and made to measure, just for me. I love them.

My mom has been sewing things for me since the first time it was cool to have things your mother made. Halloween costumes, a tiny set of overalls with a shirt that had trim matching the overalls, just to fit my kindergarten-sized body. Labours of love that made my sisters and me the envy of our play groups, or at least, the moms of our play group.

That was before any of us really paid much attention to our clothes (aside from me, whose most major concern was that I’d look like a boy if I wore pants). Years later, my mother made a skirt for my choir uniform, beautiful navy blue velour. I adored it. Until my friend asked me where I’d gotten my skirt. I told her, proudly puffed out chest and everything, that my mother had made it for me. All of a sudden, I was “mommy-made-dress-girl”.

More to the point, I was suddenly at war with myself. Of course, every now and then, my mom and I would disagree about colour, style, pattern, or fabric, and she, being the one wielding the sewing machine, always won. But for the most part, I liked the clothes she made for me. I did not, however, like being “mommy-made-dress-girl”.

In a prepubescent world where I would have given anything to be just like everyone else, shopping at the same overpriced stores, and having a plain pair of black dress pants to wear with my golf shirt, just like everybody else, my mom made me special.

Fast forward just over a decade, and I’m squealing with delight over the pants my mom made me. They’re lime green tie-dye patterned, and I could probably fit three of me into them if I untied the drawstring.

Unless I decide to join the circus, these pants are going to be capital-letters text-screaming “LOOK AT ME! I’M DIFFERENT! I’M SPECIAL!” no matter where I go. And I’m glad. Because I am special and I’m done hiding it.

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