Bad Date

Just to get any giggling out of the way, I’m going to open with the fact that, yes, I did in fact meet this guy online. Well, I met him at the mall, at a time and place arranged through online communication, a dating website to be precise. If you are inclined to giggle, please feel free. If your response is more akin to shock and awe, please keep in mind that I have traveled solo and am by no means a damsel in distress. Also, I suggest that you consider my more general post about online dating here before continuing.

In fairness, it was only when I started dating online that I ever went on “first dates” as such. I had been on dates before, but only with people I’d already been on some level “dating”.

On paper, Mr. Bad Date had a lot of things going for him. He had longer hair than I did at the time, described himself as a geek, and his profile picture was neither of his abs nor his junk.

Actually, calling him Mr. Bad Date is probably inaccurate. In and of itself, the date was pretty good. We had a long conversation about tattoos, politics, movies, and other such subjects. He made me laugh, we had a really delicious dinner, and he offered to drive me home.

So, I hear you ask, what was wrong with it? You’re calling him Mr. Bad Date for a reason we assume, and everything you’ve said so far has been good. We’re confused.

Not to worry, I haven’t gotten to the end yet. Mr. Bad Date is pretty unique. Which is normally a good thing in terms of dating prospects, because I’m pretty unique.


Mr. Bad Date has the unique distinction of being the only person I have ever met who answered in the affirmative the question “So then you think that people are poor because they’re stupid or lazy?”

Over the course of the date, he insisted that plants have no nutritional benefit to humans because we’re ill-equipped to digest them, that bisexual people are just confused, and that there is no empirical reason to do good things for anyone. Real winner here. I should know better than to talk politics on a first date, but in this case it did prevent a second date from occurring.

I told him our core values were out of alignment because it sounded so much nicer than “People like you are everything that’s wrong with the world today.”

Though I have to say I’m not entirely sure why I felt any obligation to be nice to him.


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